Codependent vs. Interdependent Relationships

Codependent and interdependent relationships are two styles of relating to others that are vastly different and shape the way we approach and experience the connections in our life. Recognizing and understanding the distinctions between them is not only crucial for our personal growth but also essential for cultivating healthier, more balanced relationships!

The Difference Between Codependent and Interdependent Relationships

The key difference between codependent and interdependent relationships lies in the balance of dependence and independence in the relationship. In a codependent relationship, one partner is overly dependent on the other, often to the point of sacrificing their own well-being. In an interdependent relationship, both partners are mutually dependent on each other, but also maintain their own sense of self and independence.

What Is Codependency?

Codependency is a pattern of behavior that typically involves putting others' needs before your own to an unhealthy degree. Codependent individuals often struggle to set boundaries, feel responsible for others' emotions and behavior, and have a tendency to sacrifice their own needs to take care of others. While codependency can manifest in any type of relationship, it is most commonly associated with romantic partnerships and family dynamics.

Signs Of a Codependent Relationship

Signs of a codependent relationship include:

• Difficulty setting boundaries or saying “no” to your partner

• Feeling responsibility for your partner's emotions and actions

• Putting your partners needs above your own 

• Relying on your partner for a sense of self-worth or identity

• Feeling like you need your partner to be ok in order for you to be ok

• Neglecting or sacrificing your own needs to take care of your partner or make them happy

This type of relationship can be harmful to both partners, as it can lead to feelings of resentment, emotional exhaustion, and an overall lack of personal growth. Codependent relationships can also be difficult to leave, as the dependent partner may feel trapped or unable to function without the other partner's support.

Interdependence In Relationships

Interdependence, on the other hand, is a way of relating to others that prioritizes mutual growth and individual well-being. In an interdependent relationship, each partner maintains their own sense of identity and autonomy while also working together to support each other's goals and needs. Interdependence involves healthy communication, mutual respect, and an understanding that both partners are responsible for their own emotions and behaviors.

Signs Of an Interdependent Relationship

Some more common signs of an interdependent relationship include:

• Both partners respect each others boundaries and individual needs

• Both partners feel a shared sense of responsibility for the relationship’s success and growth

• Open and healthy communication 

• Each partner takes responsibility for their own emotions and behaviors 

• Having interests and hobbies outside of the relationship

• Both partners find equal value in the relationship

This kind of relationship can be very rewarding and fulfilling, as it allows both partners to grow and develop as individuals while also supporting each other's growth and well-being. Interdependent relationships also tend to be more stable and long-lasting, as both partners are invested in the success of the relationship and work together to overcome challenges and obstacles.

Couples Therapy In Missouri and Kansas

For additional support cultivating interdependence in your relationship or navigating conflict and challenges with your partner, schedule an appointment by calling 913.735.9226 or emailing me at shannon@newnarrativetherapy.org